Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
