I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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