pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize