we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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