I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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