dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
