we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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