her vagine was all disorganized.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just want nice things and good sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
