I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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