I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize