i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
