I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When are your genitals available?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
