would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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