Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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