sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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