call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
