We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
