what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
