you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
