I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
