uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ladies don't puke and tell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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