just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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