I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
