you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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