alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
