Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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