Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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