I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
