Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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