I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
