ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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