Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
