You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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