awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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