you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
