After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
