a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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