HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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