im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize