I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
