Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The air was thick with penises
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
