"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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