I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
