nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
