I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just pee around me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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