There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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