Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
