My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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