I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
