Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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