Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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