I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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