You're so nebulous sometimes
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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