thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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