You just made me feel so damn special
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
