you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
