I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
