Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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