He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
