may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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