If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The air taste purple.
Randomize
