Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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