I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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