Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude i'm inner monologue high
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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